Art With Out West Where the Handshakes Are Firmer
Westside Toastmasters is located in Los Angeles and Santa Monica, California
Chapter 2
THE SOCIAL LEVERAGE IN ACTIVE HAND GESTURES
No weapons concealed hither! Centuries ago exposed open easily indicated a lack of evil intent.
Amongst all species, our human hands are unique -- non just in what they tin attain, just besides in how they communicate. Human hands can play a violin, maneuver surgical instruments, frame a house, fold paper into origami, and paint the Sistine Chapel. They can grasp, scratch, poke, punch, feel, sense, evaluate, hold and mold the world around us. Our hands are extremely expressive; they can sign for the deaf, help tell a story, or reveal our innermost thoughts.
Despite the acquisition of spoken linguistic communication over millions of years of human development, our brains are even so hard-wired to engage our hands in accurately communicating our emotions, thoughts, and sentiments. The hands accept been the most important tools in human evolution and at that place are more than connections between the encephalon and the hands than betwixt any other body parts. Therefore, whether people are speaking or not, manus gestures merit our attention as a rich source of nonverbal behavior to aid united states understand the thoughts and feelings of others.
Our brain gives a disproportionate amount of attention to the fingers, and hands, equally compared to the rest of the body. This could be in role because our first affect is with our hands and we seek the easily of our parents for safety or it is because the human hand can hold a weapon. For whatever the reason, we tend to focus on the hands and are mesmerized by them.
Yous're born to speak with your hands. Researchers have found that infants who utilize more than manus gestures at 18-months old take greater language abilities afterward on. Hand gestures speak to not bad intelligence.
Using hand gestures early in life tin predict that a child volition later develop a potent vocabulary, equally well as skills related to sentence structure and storytelling, according to a study published in the Periodical of Kid Language.
For the report, researchers asked vi-year-olds to relay what was happening in a cartoon. They asked the children to repeat the task when they were 7, and again when they were 8. The children's ability to construction a narrative improved over this fourth dimension flow - and children who had expressed a graphic symbol'southward viewpoint using hand gestures at age 5 were more probable to tell better-structured stories afterward in childhood.
Another report found that forcing children to gesture while they explained how to solve math bug really helped them learn new problem-solving strategies.
2nd only to your face, your hands are your near visually expressive feature and can be equated to your voice because they can convey then much. They serve as a exchange for words too as supporting the spoken word past illustrating and amplifying what you're saying. When you lot're giving directions to someone who'southward lost, you lot most probable use your hands to go them heading on the correct road. When you're emphasizing a indicate your easily move in time with your words. When you're describing a shape or a particular scene your hands create a visual picture of what yous're saying. These kinds of manus gestures make complicated explanations more comprehensible.
Hiding Nether The Covers
When you conceal your hands past putting them behind your dorsum or shoving them in your pockets, it's like keeping your mouth shut. What your hands are indicating is, 'I don't wish to speak!'
Imagine yourself back in your childhood. Yous've just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Y'all chop-chop pull it out and stick it behind your back as children oft practise while lying or concealing something while proverb, 'I didn't take anything!' And all the time your manus stays hidden.
Fast frontward to life now. Hypothetically, you've been out on the boondocks with your buddies, you arrive home as the lord's day is rising, and your "significant other" asks your whereabouts the dark before. Rather than owning upwards to the indiscretion, major or minor, if yous're a man you lot may well shove your hands into your pockets or cantankerous your arms with your easily tucked neatly away while spinning your fairy tale. If y'all're a woman yous busy your easily with a flurry of activities while carrying your excuse. Either way your palms stay subconscious.
Signaling Openness
Throughout history, the open palm has been associated with truth, honesty, fidelity and submission. Many oaths are still taken with the palm of the paw over the heart, and the palm is held in the air when somebody is giving evidence in a court of constabulary; the Bible is held in the left manus and the right palm held up for the members of the court to view. One of the about valuable clues to discovering whether someone is being open up and honest - or not - is to watch for palm displays. Just as a domestic dog will expose its throat to evidence submission or surrender to the victor, humans use their palms to brandish in a similar fashion to show that they are unarmed and therefore not a threat.
When people want to be open or honest, they will oftentimes concord i or both palms out to the other person and say something like, 'I didn't practise information technology!', 'I'm sorry if I upset you' or 'I'm telling you the truth'. When someone begins to open up or be truthful, they will probable expose all or part of their palms to the other person. Similar almost body language signals, this is a completely unconscious gesture, 1 that gives you an 'intuitive' feeling or hunch that the other person is telling the truth.
Salespeople are taught to scout for a client'southward exposed palms when he gives reasons or objections about why he can't buy a production, because when someone is giving valid reasons, they unremarkably show their palms. When people are being open in explaining their reasons they use their hands and wink their palms whereas someone who isn't telling the truth is likely to requite the aforementioned verbal responses but conceal their hands.
Keeping their hands in their pockets is a favorite ploy of men who don't desire to participate in a chat. The palms were originally similar the song cords of body language considering they did more 'talking' than any other body part and putting them away was similar keeping one'due south oral fissure shut.
Palms in pockets: The posturing suggests she is making her point forcefully and he is in the doghouse ... and doesn't feel like communicating
Conscious Intent To Deceive With Hands
Some people will wonder, 'If I tell a lie and go along my palms visible, will people be more than likely to believe me?' The answer is yep - and no.
Con artists, professional liars, and used machine dealers know the tricks of the trade and use the open palm gesture when trying to convince you that they're genuine and sincere. However, If you tell an outright prevarication with your palms exposed, the listener tin can yet detect that something's not quite right because other gestures of honesty are absent, such as open facial expressions, calm breathing, and a relaxed opinion, are missing. That incongruence in gestures will ring alarm bells ring equally your instincts cry out, 'Wait a minute, what this person is saying IS a lie!'. The more effectively the professional con artists can synchronize the body language of honesty when telling their lie(due south), the better they are at their job.
It's possible, however, to announced more open and apparent past practicing open palm gestures when communicating with others. Interestingly, as the open palm gestures become habitual, the tendency to tell untruths diminishes. Most people find it difficult to lie with their palms exposed because of the law of cause and effect. If a person is being open they'll expose their palms, but only having their palms exposed makes information technology difficult for the person to tell a disarming lie. This is because gestures and emotions are direct linked to each other. If you experience defensive you're likely to cross your artillery beyond your chest. But if yous just cross your arms yous'll begin to experience defensive feelings. And if yous are talking with your palms exposed it puts even more pressure on the other person to be truthful also. In other words, open palms can help to suppress some of the fake data others may tell and encourage them to be more open with yous.
Open up Palms Enquire For Trust
The open hand is an ancient sign of trustworthiness. It's a positive position and is helpful for establishing rapport with another person. Information technology is also a submissive, non-threatening gesture reminiscent of the pleading gesture of a street beggar. Over the class of history in different cultures information technology has served as a simple signal that one does not have a weapon to readily use.
I way to approximate if someone is beingness honest with you look at where her palms are facing. If i or both of the palms are facing up it's a decent sign that you're hearing the truth. When people hold their easily in a front facing open position the words that would capture the essence of this position would exist forth the lines of, 'Y'all can admittedly trust that I'chiliad telling y'all the truth.'
One of the least noticed, but most powerful, body signals is given by the human palm when giving someone directions or commands and in handshaking. When used in a sure way, palm power invests its user with the ability of silent potency.
The palm upwardly gesture became modified over the centuries and gestures like the unmarried palm raised in the air, the palm over the heart and many other variations adult.
Palm up = not threatening
Angela Merkel, German leader in a palm down display of authority and power
The Downward Facing Palm
Plow your hand over with your palm facing downwardly and you're projecting power and authorization. This position is used for giving orders where lilliputian room exists for discussion. Gesturing with your palm facing downwards says, 'I'm in control here. Practise every bit I say!'
Yous have to exist careful when using this gesture, peculiarly if your fingers are tightly closed because of its historical association with tyrannical ability in Nazi Federal republic of germany. Hitler instinctively understood the intimidation this salute gesture conveyed.
If someone on the receiving terminate of this gesture has equal formal status they may well experience resistance to what is being said. If the person in a dialogue is your subordinate, the palm down gesture would exist seen as more than acceptable given the uneven residual of power.
Paradoxically, if you want to absurd downward a tense situation or ask for quiet, yous can moderately modify the palm down gesture by holding out both your palms slightly pointed downwards with your fingers slightly separated and gently vanquish them up and downward. Make sure that your fingers are relaxed or yous will negate a good degree of the effect.
Adolf Hitler using one of history'southward most renowned hand signals
Power Moves
Closed Hand With Finger Pointed
Close your palm into a fist, bespeak your index finger, and you've only created a metaphoric club for beating anyone close by listening into submission.
Think back to a time when someone - a parent, instructor, or an executive above you lot - pointed a finger at you. You know and then how threatening and aggressive that gesture can experience. That is because it comes from our primate ancestors who shake their clamp fists just prior to pummelling their opposition into submission with an over-arm blow. In some Asian countries finger pointing at a person is an insult as this gesture is only used to point at animals.
A variation on the gesture that may show fifty-fifty more annoying is when the pointed finger oscillates up and downward, fifty-fifty synchronized in rhythm with what is being said. It may brand you feel like a badly behaved child beingness reprimanded.
A shut cousin, the finger jab has a forward stabbing move. Not ane of the about conciliatory of gestures, use it with great caution.
The closed hand, with pointed finger is threatening and aggressive, 'Do it or else!'
The pointing finger creates negative feelings in almost listeners
Experimentally, finger pointing non only has very low positive impressions in listeners, the absurdity is that listeners recall significantly less of what the speaker has said, the contrary of a speaker's intent using that gesture. If you are a habitual finger-pointer, endeavour practicing the palm-up and palm-down positions and you'll observe that you tin create a more relaxed atmosphere and have a more positive effect on others.
The Precision Thumb, Fingertips Grip
A much more beneficial culling to a pointed finger is to clasp your fingers against your thumb to make an 'OK' type of gesture and talk using this position, yous volition come across as authoritative, only not aggressive. Concord something small-scale betwixt your thumb and fingertips. It can be a pen, a needle, or a delicate piece of fabric. This is a precision grip, which allows you to concord and dispense an object precisely. Now, when you're speaking and want to say something accurately or delicately printing your fingers and pollex together in a similar position with your palm facing towards you. Presto! Your listener understands that you're reinforcing what you lot're maxim with neat precision and accurateness.
This gesture tactic has been taught to speakers and business leaders with skillful success as measured by audition reactions. The audiences who listened to the speakers who used the fingertip-touch gestures have described those speakers every bit 'thoughtful', 'goal-oriented' and 'focused'.
In some countries the okay bespeak is considered rude. Earlier making any definite gesture notice out what is acceptable behavior and what may cause offense.
When you enquire a question or are feeling uncertain almost a point you're making or responding to, you may well find that your thumb and index finger are about - but not quite - touching. Funny how that happens, equally if the fingers know that the answer isn't quite in that location. When the fingers do come together in a definite grip it's as if they've grabbed the information and are holding onto it.
The Fist Thrust
Another in the armory of authoritative gestures where you lot want to achieve maximum impact is thrusting out the fist. People who want to be perceived as strong, serious, and forceful use this motility. It's every bit if they are holding onto a strap on a fast moving bus or train, or hammering a smash into a slice of lumber.
You can utilise this gesture finer in 2 ways. If yous cull to deliver your message in a mild mannered way, leave your fingers bent, non fully closed. If, however, you intend to take no prisoners, close your fingers into the fist.
Lookout man a public speaker or politician who deliberately wants to bear witness but how much conviction and decision she has. Wow! Wait at that tightly closed fist pumping upwards and downwardly as if chirapsia a bass pulsate. Information technology makes you wonder how much planned showmanship may be involved.
U.s. Senator Elizabeth Warren demonstrating conviction and determination
Some other similar gesture is the air dial, where you lot vanquish the air with a tightly closed fist to requite strength to a strong statement. This gesture is also the 1 you tin employ when your squad scores, your proposal is accepted, or y'all win the lottery.
If you're speaking to an audience and want to establish authorization just with less overt force, allow your fingers and thumb bend inward every bit if they're nearly but not quite belongings an invisible object. You'll exist perceived as in command and sure of what you're doing.
The Hand Chop
Sometimes when you speak you may experience so passionate that you observe yourself using your paw similar a weapon, jabbing or chopping. Your listener had better take y'all seriously when you apply these gestures considering they're a sure sign that whatever you're feeling is pretty strong and you aren't going to accept any arguments or contradictions.
To demonstrate existent forcefulness when yous're speaking and to underline your decision , the side of a flat hand can be made to appear as a symbolic knife or meat cleaver with your fingers held closely together. The cutting hand can strike the other palm, creating visual and audible bear on. At present, make strong downward chopping movements and your message to another person is relayed in compelling mode.
A side-swiped cut with the palm faced down tells others to stop what they are doing, for case when a person on stage asks the audition to finish clapping then they can speak. A curt side swipe may as well indicate 'no' in whatever conversation. Cuts can betoken assailment, particularly when coupled with an aggressive face. They may also indicate decisiveness, chopping with each point. A side-swiped cut can chop away someone else'south argument.
The scissors or double-chop motion is a peachy one to use when you're rejecting or disagreeing with what someone else is saying. Cross both your forearms in front end of your body and make outward cutting motions with your easily. You're indicating that y'all don't want to hear any more by cutting off the conversation.
The hand chopping gesture demonstrates clear conviction
Releasing Internal Free energy
If you e'er noticed yourself drumming your fingers, pulling your earlobe, touching your face, or scratching your head when yous haven't got an itch, you're experiencing displacement activities. Deportation activities are easy to spot considering they are the small, inconsequential gestures you make when you're feeling inner turmoil or frustration.
People who are experiencing frustration, internal conflict, or boredom ofttimes feel the demand to take action. If they struggle to notice an appropriate activeness to address the source of annoyance they fill the void with meaningless activities to keep themselves busy.
Drumming Fingers
If you're in a meeting and someone'due south drumming his or her fingers on the table, pay attention. This person is telling you something. Bored, frustrated, or even irritated; the percussionist is impatient.
Ed works for an international law house. Ed reveals his state of mind past the tempo of his constant finger tapping during meetings. When he's bored he drums the four fingers of his correct hand in quick succession. When he'southward thoughtfully considering a suggestion he quietly taps his middle finger. When he'south prepared to conclude the coming together he knocks his knuckles on the table. Without saying a word his colleagues know what Ed's thinking.
Tapping in a rhythm
Fidgeting Around
Notice what you do the side by side time you feel bored or broken-hearted. Chances are you lot'll fidget with an object. You may jangle your keys, twist a band on your finger, or arrange your clothes. You may also touch on yourself by picking at your nails, tugging your earlobe, rubbing your cheek, or running your fingers through your hair. The purpose of these actions is to ease any nervous excess energy you may exist feeling. These actions are sometimes referred to as 'adaptors' considering they help y'all adapt to your internal tension. Adaptive behaviors tend to mainly focus on the caput, face, and hands.
Idly spinning a pen to fire off energy
Unconsciously you may find yourself stroking your confront, running your fingers over your lips, or rubbing the back of your neck when you're feeling upset. These manus gestures are reminiscent of those your mother may accept used to comfort you when you lot were a child.
Biting Fingernails
If you ever work in intelligence you're told to observe people's mannerisms. Mannerisms are a certain sign to a person's state of being and are more hard to disguise than facial features. Mannerisms are so entrenched that eliminating them is difficult, whereas facial features can be fairly hands inverse. During any cess of another person look to her easily to see what they're like.
Doctors examine a patient's fingernails with the same amount of care and attention as they expect at the face and the eyes. Whatever irregularity, including shape and color, is evidence of concrete poor health and psychological stress and anxiety.
An Analysis of Handshake Styles
Few people ever consider how their easily behave or the style they milk shake hands when they meet someone. Even so that hand contact and whatever subsequent number of hand pumps that may occur establish whether dominance, submission or power plays will take place.
Shaking hands is a relic of our ancient past. Whenever primitive tribes met under friendly weather, they would hold their artillery out with their palms exposed to show that no weapons were existence held or concealed. In Roman times, the exercise of carrying a concealed dagger in the sleeve was common and so for protection the Romans grasped the lower arm equally a common greeting.
Romans used this greeting style to check for concealed weapons under clothing
The modern form of this ancient greeting ritual is the interlocking and shaking of the palms and was originally used in the nineteenth century to seal commercial transactions between men of equal condition. It has become widespread simply in the last hundred years or so and has always remained in the male domain until recent times. In virtually Western and European countries today information technology is performed both on initial greeting and on deviation in all business contexts, and increasingly at parties and social events by both women and men.
Even in places such equally Japan, where bowing is the traditional greeting, and Thailand, where they greet using the Wai - a gesture that looks similar to praying - the modernistic handshake is at present widely seen. In almost places, the hands are normally pumped five to 7 times but in some countries, for example Frg, they pump ii or three times with an boosted hold fourth dimension equal to an actress ii pumps. The French are the biggest glad-handers, shaking on both greeting and departure and spending a considerable time each day shaking hands.
Deciding Who Reaches Out First
Although shaking hands when coming together some other person for the first time is customary, in some instances making the start movement may not exist advisable. For example, if you lot've forced the meeting or the other person is uncomfortable in your presence information technology would be inappropriate for you to extend your mitt every bit a sign of trust and welcome. However if you consider the person you're meeting to be your equal and you're both glad to see one another, you simultaneously extend your hands in greeting.
When y'all show upward at a customer without having been invited look to see if she extends her mitt in welcome. If you put your manus out beginning she may experience forced to shake your hand, creating a negative feeling. If no handshake is forthcoming, give a small nod of your caput instead.
Because some people aren't sure whether or not to milk shake a woman's hand in a business context, the woman should extend her hand beginning to show that she's comfortable to milkshake easily. That way avoids wondering and fumbling.
How Say-so and Control Are Communicated
Considering what has already been said about the impact of the Palm-Upwards and Palm-Down gestures, let'due south explore their relevance in handshaking.
In Roman times, two leaders would meet and greet each other with what amounted to a standing version of mod arm wrestling. If ane leader was stronger than the other, his hand would cease above the other's hand in what became known as the Upper Hand position.
Permit's assume that you take just met someone for the starting time fourth dimension and you greet each other with a handshake. One of iii bones attitudes is subconsciously transmitted:
- Dominance: 'He is trying to boss me. I'd meliorate be cautious.'
- Submission: 'I can dominate this person. He'll do what I desire.'
- Equality: 'I feel comfortable with this person.'
These attitudes are sent and received without our being enlightened of them, but they can have an immediate impact on the upshot of any meeting. With some practice in applying handshake techniques based on knowledge of how they are subconsciously interpreted yous can dramatically influence any face-to-face coming together.
Say-so is transmitted past turning your hand so that your palm faces down in the handshake (see below). Your palm doesn't accept to face up directly down, only is the upper manus and communicates that you desire to take control of the meet.
Taking control
A written report of 400 senior management executives (90% men) revealed that not only did about all of the managers initiate the handshake, 90% of the men and 30% of the women also used the ascendant handshake position. Power and command issues are more often than not less important to women, which probably accounts for why only 1 in three women attempted the upper paw ritual. Some women it was found will give men a soft handshake in some social contexts to imply submissiveness. This is a mode of highlighting their femininity or implying that domination of her may be possible. In a business concern context, even so, this approach can be disastrous for a woman because men will give attending to her feminine qualities and not accept her seriously. Women who display high femininity in business concern meetings are not taken seriously past other business women or men, despite the fact that it'due south now fashionable or politically correct to say everyone is the aforementioned. This doesn't hateful a woman in business organisation needs to act in a masculine way; she only needs to avoid signals of femaleness such as soft handshakes, short skirts and high heels if she wants equal credibility.
In 2001, William Chaplin at the Academy of Alabama conducted a written report into handshakes and constitute that extroverted personalities use firm handshakes while shy, neurotic personalities don't. Chaplin as well found that women who are open to new ideas used business firm handshakes. Men used the aforementioned handshakes whether they were open up to new ideas or not. So it makes good business sense for women to practise firmer handshakes, particularly with men.
The Submissive Handshake
The reverse of the dominant handshake is to offer your hand with your palm facing upwards (as the man below on the correct is doing), symbolically giving the other person the upper manus, similar a dog exposing its throat to a superior dog.
The submissive handshake
This can be effective if you want to requite the other person control or allow him to experience that he is in charge of the state of affairs if for example, you lot were making an apology.
While the palm-upwardly handshake tin can communicate a submissive attitude, there are sometimes other circumstances to consider. A person with arthritis in their hands may exist forced to give you a limp handshake because of their condition and this makes it piece of cake to turn their palm into the submissive position. People who use their easily in their profession, such as surgeons, artists and musicians, may too give a limp handshake, purely to protect their hands. The gesture clusters they apply following their handshake will requite further clues for your assessment of them - a submissive person will use more submissive gestures and a ascendant person volition employ more assertive gestures.
How to Create Equality
When two ascendant people milkshake hands, a symbolic ability struggle takes identify as each person attempts to turn the other's palm into the submissive position. The consequence is a vice-like handshake with both palms remaining in the vertical position and this creates a feeling of equality and mutual respect considering neither is prepared to give in to the other.
Communicating equality
How to Create Rapport
There are two key ingredients for creating rapport in a handshake. Showtime, make certain that yours and the other person'due south palms are in the vertical position so that no ane is dominant or submissive. 2d, employ the same pressure you receive. This means that if, on a firmness scale of 1-ten, your handshake registers a vii but the other person is just a 5, you'll need to back off twenty% in strength. If their grip is a nine and yours is a 7, you'll need to increase your grip by 20%. If you lot were meeting a grouping of x people, yous'd probably need to make several adjustments of angle and intensity to create a feeling of rapport with everyone and to stay on an equal footing with each person. Also keep in heed that the boilerplate male hand tin exert around twice the power of the average female person mitt, and then allowances must be fabricated for this. Evolution has immune male easily to exert a grip of upwards to 100 pounds (45kg) for actions such as tearing, gripping, carrying, throwing and hammering.
Recall that the handshake evolved as a gesture to say hello or goodbye or to seal an understanding so information technology always needs to be warm, friendly and positive.
How to Disarm a Power Player
The palm downward presentation is reminiscent of the Nazi salute and is the most aggressive of all handshakes because it gives the receiver trivial chance of establishing an equal human relationship. This handshake is typical of the overbearing, dominant person who always initiates it, and their strong arm with palm facing downwards forces the receiver into the submissive position.
The power player attempts to control past extending his hand, palm down, for a handshake
The power player makes contact, starting the ascendant handshake as he expects
The person in the submissive position initially with his palm upwards steps forrad on his left human foot and towards his own correct, first to move across the ability player's personal infinite
Next, stride forwards with your right leg, moving across in front end of the person and deeper into his personal space (marginally off to the power player's left paw side). This forces the ability actor'southward paw close to his trunk in front of him. Due to the structure and mechanics of the arm and shoulder, particularly for men, the power player'southward hand must rotate to a vertical orientation. This tactic allows you to re-orient the handshake with palms vertical, creating equal power between both people. By just entering the ability histrion's personal space, one achieves a greater degree of control over the run across.
Walk beyond in front with your right leg and turn his palm sideways to execute a handshake with both people having equal command
Analyze your own approach to shaking easily and notice whether you stride forward on your left or right pes when you extend your arm to shake hands. Most people are right footed and are therefore at a disadvantage when they receive a dominant handshake considering they have little room to move and it allows the other person to dominate. Practice stepping into a handshake with your left foot and you will find that it is easier to deal with the power players who would try to command yous.
2. The Hand-on-Pinnacle Technique
When a power player presents their mitt to you with their palm down, respond with your hand in the palm upwardly position then put your left hand over his right to form a double hand and straighten the handshake.
The double paw handshake
This switches the ability from him to you lot and is a much simpler way of dealing with the situation, and is much easier for women to use. If you feel the power thespian is purposefully trying to intimidate, and he does information technology regularly, grasp his hand on top and so milk shake information technology (as beneath). This tin can shock a power player so you need to exist selective when using it and do it only as a terminal resort.
A wrist hold every bit a terminal resort
Taking The Left Side Reward
The adjacent fourth dimension yous wait at a photograph of two leaders standing next to i another see if i looks more dominant than the other. Chances are that y'all perceive the person on the left side of the motion-picture show to have the edge. If the photo shows them shaking hands you can easily come across that the hand of the person on the left is in the upper position, making her announced more than powerful and in control. Savvy politicians are enlightened of the impact this body position makes and jockey to place themselves to the correct of their colleague, or adversary, in order to come out on the left in the photo.
To gain the left side advantage to make yourself announced as if you're calling the shots, position yourself to the correct of the other person. If you lot want to increase your power play, identify your left manus on your colleague's back while shaking easily. Although the other person may experience bellyaching by your obvious power play, you tin can smile warmly, knowing that you've got the advantage.
Gaining the Upper Paw - JFK using the left-manus side advantage to put Richard Nixon into the weaker-looking position
Their famous election debate revealed a remarkable testimony to the power of body linguistic communication. Polls showed that the bulk of Americans who listened to the debate on radio believed that Nixon was the victor only the majority of those who watched it on television set believed Kennedy to be the articulate winner. This shows how Kennedy'south persuasive body language fabricated the divergence and somewhen won him the Presidency.
Standing on the left side of the shot gives sometime Argentina President Cristina Kirchner the upper hand advantage over sometime Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff
Old French President Nicolas Sarkozy approached from the wrong side - the right side of the photograph - and walking into a dominant handshake
Not to be outdone this fourth dimension, Nicolas Sarkozy positions himself well ... and the smile shows information technology!
When Men and Women Milkshake Hands
Even though women take had a strong presence in the workforce for several decades, many men and women nevertheless experience degrees of fumbling and embarrassment in male/female greetings. Most men report that they received some basic handshaking training from their fathers when they were boys, only few women report the same grooming. As adults, this can create uncomfortable situations when a man reaches first to shake a woman'south mitt simply she may not see it - she's initially more than intent on looking at his confront. Feeling awkward with his paw suspended in mid-air, the man pulls information technology dorsum hoping she didn't find but as he does, she reaches for it and is also left with her hand dangling in a void. He reaches for her hand once more and the result is a mish-mash of tangled fingers that await and feel similar two eager squid in a love embrace.
If this ever happens to you, intentionally take the other person's right hand with your left, place it correctly into your right hand and say with a grinning 'Permit's attempt that again!' This tin give you an enormous credibility boost with the other person, considering it shows you intendance enough virtually meeting them to become the handshake right. If y'all are a woman in business organisation, a wise strategy is to requite notice to others that you lot intend to shake easily then as to not take hold of them off guard. Hold your paw out equally early as possible to give clear notice of your intention to milkshake hands and this will avert any fumbling.
The Double Hand Handshake
The double-hander is a favorite in the corporate and political loonshit. Through this particular handshake, the initiator aims to portray sincerity, honesty, and a deep feeling for the receiver. By using it you increment the amount of physical contact and by restricting the receiver's right hand you gain control of the interaction. Ideally, this handshake should only be used where a personal relationship already exists.
If someone thrusts his hand towards y'all, palm facing down, and grabs your hand in his putting you in a submissive position with little chance of balancing the equation, what do y'all do? Allow the ability player to accept your hand with your palm facing upwards. And so, earlier he knows what you're up to, put your left hand on superlative of his right to create a double-hander. From this position you're able to straighten the handshake and proceeds control subtly and finer.
When yous use the two-handed handshake, the left hand conveys two points worth noting. Firstly, it reveals the intensity of feeling you're demonstrating towards the receiver. This is a complex movement in that the gesture shows both the degree of connexion you take with the receiver every bit well as the amount of control you lot're exerting. The second point is that your left manus invades the receiver's personal space. Unless the receiver has positive feelings for you this gesture can lead to feelings of suspicion and mistrust. If in doubt, don't use information technology; especially on an executive above you.
The double hander
This handshake increases the amount of physical contact given past the initiator and gives command over the receiver by restricting his right mitt. Sometimes called the 'politician'due south handshake', the initiator of the double hander tries to give the impression he is trustworthy and honest, but when information technology's used on a person he'south but met, it can have the contrary effect leaving the receiver feeling suspicious about the initiator'south intentions. The double hander is like a miniature hug and is acceptable merely in circumstances where a hug could also be acceptable.
90 per cent of humans are born with the ability to throw the right arm in front of the trunk - known every bit an over-arm blow - for basic self-defense. The double hander restricts this defense capability, which is why it should never be used in greetings where a personal bond doesn't exist with the other person. Information technology should exist used simply where an emotional bond already exists, such as when meeting an erstwhile friend. In these circumstances, self-defence force is non an issue so the handshake is perceived equally genuine.
Barack Obama on the receiving terminate of a double manus handshake
Handshakes of Control
The intention of any two-handed handshake is to try to bear witness sincerity, trust or depth of feeling for the receiver. 2 significant elements should be noticed. Firstly, the left hand is used to communicate the depth of feeling the initiator wants to convey and this is relative to the altitude the initiator's left mitt is placed upward the receiver's right arm. It'south like an intention to embrace and the initiator's left paw is used like a thermometer of intimacy - the further upwardly the receiver'southward arm it'due south placed, the more intimacy the initiator is attempting to show. The initiator is both attempting to show an intimate connexion with the receiver while, at the aforementioned time, attempting to command their movement.
For example, the elbow grasp handshake conveys more intimacy and command than the wrist hold handshake, and the shoulder hold handshake conveys more the upper arm grip.
The wrist hold
The elbow grasp
The upper arm grip
The shoulder hold
Secondly, the initiator'south left hand is an invasion of the receiver'southward personal space. In general, the wrist hold and elbow grasp handshakes are acceptable just where one person feels close to the other and in these cases the initiator's left mitt enters only the outer edge of the receiver'southward personal space. The shoulder hold and upper arm grip handshakes evidence shut intimacy and may fifty-fifty result in a hug. Unless the intimate feelings are mutual or the initiator doesn't have a good reason for using a double-handed handshake, the receiver will probably exist suspicious and mistrust the initiator's intentions. In summary, if y'all don't take some sort of personal bond with the other person, don't use any double handed handshake. And if the person who gives y'all 1 doesn't accept a personal connexion with you, look for their subconscious agenda.
It's common to see politicians greeting voters using double handed handshakes and business people doing it to clients without realizing it can be business organization and political suicide, putting people offside.
The Space Invader
Whether you're pulling someone into your territory when shaking hands or you're invading their space past plunging your arm into their terrain, a power play is taking identify and you concur the ability.
In the first instance, yous propel your arm forwards, forcefully grip the receiver's extended hand, and simultaneously become into a quick opposite thrust, yanking them into your infinite and huddling over the handshake until you're set up to allow it get. If you pull someone into your personal space you create a handshake on your terms. You're in charge.
Be aware of the amount of force you apply or you may notice the other person falling on top of y'all equally you pull them in. That's what you call getting the relationship off on the incorrect pes!
If you invade the other person's territory you extend your arm fully, forcing the other person to retreat back into their domain. Their arm ends upward in a cramped position while your extended arm fills their space.
The Delayed Handshake - Putin Ability Play?
It is arguable what international expansionist intentions Vladimir Putin has or has not had during his Russian Presidency. His relationship and attitudes to the western globe can be intuited through his interactions with leaders in public forums. Here are Putin and President Obama interacting at a United Nations General Associates in 2015. A reasonable interpretation is that of a superior sizing up an junior opponent.
Is Putin bemused or showing outright disdain for Obama?
Handshake Styles That Could Improve
Here are some of the more annoying and disliked handshakes and their variations. Avoid them as best you cans:
one. The Wet Fish
If you've ever been presented with a totally limp hand to shake you know how unconnected it feels when your hands meet. People who pass up to commit to a handshake tend to be self-of import and aloof. Granted, surgeons and concert pianists need to guard their fingers and are known for their soft handshakes. And people who take to do a lot of shaking too offer a relaxed hand in club to protect their fingers.
Some people offer the uncommitted handshake for other reasons. Some women think that it's appealing to present themselves as submissive to both men and women. Very stiff people sometimes offer a soft handshake equally a way of highlighting their physical power. If a person'south lacking in confidence she also holds back from making a connection.
The moisture fish
The palms have more than sweat glands than any other part of the torso, which is why sweaty palms become and so obvious. Surprisingly, many people who use the moisture fish manner are unaware they do information technology then it'southward wise to enquire your friends to comment on your handshake manner before deciding what you'll use in future meetings.
ii. The Vice Grip
This quietly persuasive way is a favorite of men in business and reveals a desire to dominate and assume early control of the relationship or put people in their place. The palm is presented in the down position with i abrupt downward pump followed past two or 3 vigorous return strokes and a grip that tin can fifty-fifty stop blood menstruation to the hand. Sometimes information technology will exist used past a person who feels weak and fears they volition be dominated by others.
The vice grip
3.The Knuckle Cruncher
A step up in assertiveness from the vice grip. Before you tin stuff your hand in your pocket the knuckle cruncher is there, turning your knuckles into pulverized bone. These people seem to have an overly ambitious attitude to recoup for ineffectiveness in other areas of their life. The person that delivers a knuckle cruncher is to be avoided every bit in that location is little that a recipient of this hand shake tin practise to counter or mitigate the damage.
To avert this potentially painful handshake both men and women should avoid wearing rings on your right hands in a business context.
Unfortunately, at that place are no effective physical means to counter it. If you recollect that your hand has been purposely crunched say 'Wow! That'southward ane strong grip you have there!'. You're letting the person know that you're onto their game. This has even more than impact if other people are present observing the interaction. They're unlikely to try that flim-flam again.
The bone cruncher handshake
4. The Finger Tip Grab
A mutual occurrence in male-female greetings, the finger tip grab is a handshake that missed the marker and the user mistakenly grabs the other person'southward fingers. Even though the initiator may seem to accept an enthusiastic attitude towards the receiver, he in fact lacks confidence in himself. In these circumstances, the chief aim of the finger tip grab is to go on the receiver at a comfortable distance. The finger tip grab tin besides consequence from personal space differences betwixt the people in the handshake. This could happen if one person's intimate space was 2 anxiety (60cm) and the other'south was three feet (90cm), the latter stands further back during greeting then the hands don't connect properly.
The finger tip catch
If this happens to you, take the other person'south correct hand with your left and place it correctly in your right hand and say, with a grinning 'Allow's endeavour that again!' and shake hands equally. This builds your brownie because you are telling the other person that you recall they are of import enough for yous to go it correct.
5. The Stiff Arm Thrust
Like the palm downward presentation, the stiff arm thrust tends to be used by ambitious types and its principal purpose is to keep you at a altitude and abroad from their personal space. Information technology'south besides used by people raised in rural areas, who have larger personal space needs and want to protect their territory.
The potent arm thrust
These people will even lean forward or balance on one foot to keep their altitude when delivering a stiff arm thrust.
6. The Socket Wrencher
A pop option of power players and common crusade of watering eyes and, in extreme cases, torn ligaments. This is the father of the bent arm pull in, and involves forcefully gripping the receiver's outstretched palm, then simultaneously applying a sharp reverse thrust, attempting to elevate the receiver into the initiator's territory. This results in loss of balance and gets the relationship off on the wrong foot.
The socket wrencher
Pulling the receiver into the initiator's territory can hateful one of iii things: first, the initiator is an insecure type who feels safe only within his own personal space; 2nd, the initiator is from a civilisation that has smaller space needs; or tertiary, he wants to control you by pulling you off balance. Either way, he wants the run across to be on his terms.
vii. The Water Pump
With stiff rural overtones, the pumper grabs the other's hand and commences energetically and rhythmic series of rapid vertical strokes. While up to 7 pumps is acceptable, some pumpers continue to pump uncontrollably as if they are trying to draw h2o from the pumpee.
The pump handle handshake
Occasionally, the pumper will cease pumping but continue to concord the receiver's hand to prevent their escape and, interestingly, few people try to pull their mitt away. The act of being physically connected seems to weaken our resolve to retreat.
The Arafat-Rabin Handshake
The photograph below shows the late Israeli Prime Minister, Yitzhak Rabin and Palestinian Chairman Yassar Arafat shaking hands at the White House in 1993 and it reveals several interesting attitudes. President Clinton is, in fact, the cardinal figure in the shot because of his unobstructed center position, actress height and arms spread with open palms gesture, reminiscent of a god presiding over his people.
Yitzhak Rabin (left) holds his ground using a potent arm to resist existence pulled forward by Yassar Arafat
In this famous shot, both men keep their anxiety firmly planted on the ground and attempt to force the other out of his territory - Yitzhak Rabin causeless the power position on the left side of the moving-picture show and used a stiff arm thrust and leaned forward to continue Arafat out of his personal space while Yassar Arafat stood admittedly erect and attempted to counter with a bent arm pull in.
President Donald Trump is not shy making his move on former US presidential candidate Manus Romney
Summary
Few people have any thought how they come across to others in initial meetings, despite the fact that nearly of united states of america are aware that the first few minutes of that meeting can make or interruption a relationship. Have the fourth dimension to practice handshake styles with your friends and colleagues and you can speedily learn how to evangelize a positive handshake every time. Keeping the palms held vertical and matching the other person'due south grip is usually perceived every bit a 10/10 handshake.
Westside Toastmasters on Meetup
Source: https://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap2.html
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